


The Beautiful Truth

by accol



Category: Generation Kill
Genre: Alternate Universe, Attempted Rape, First Kiss, First Time, Homophobic Language, M/M, Mutual Masturbation, Prison, Racism, Threats, YAGKYAS, YAGKYAS 2011
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-20
Updated: 2011-12-20
Packaged: 2017-10-31 04:18:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/339806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/accol/pseuds/accol
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Walt Hasser ends up behind bars, it's his cellmate Ray Person that makes it bearable.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Beautiful Truth

**Author's Note:**

  * For [amoama](https://archiveofourown.org/users/amoama/gifts).



> Loosely inspired by the song "Do You Want the Truth or Something Beautiful?" by Paloma Faith. Definitely inspired by the Beecher/Keller relationship on the HBO series _Oz_. Written for amoama at 2011 YAGKYAS. Based on fictionalized portrayals in the HBO miniseries _Generation Kill_.

  


_ Day 1 _

The C.O. sized Walt up, read Walt's offence off of his clip board, and sighed. He handed Walt a bundle containing his orange jumpsuit and a few toiletries.

"Keep your head down and stay out of trouble. You'll make it," the C.O. said, warm concern in his quiet voice.

Walt tried to believe himself when he said, "I know."

Walt read _Fick_ on the C.O.'s shirt. Amazingly, he managed to remember it through his horror at being in prison. Everything else since his arrest was pretty much a blur of self-pity and handcuffs. He went to his cell and spent the rest of the day staring at the gray, lonely underside of the bunk above his.

*

_ Day 2 _

Walt made it through breakfast, yard, his first shift in the laundry, and now lunch. His head was down, trying to keep under everyone's radar just like Officer Fick had said. Mostly he was wallowing in disappointment at himself for stupid decisions and wishing he could fast forward to a time where he didn't have to be on edge about every man in here. His fists were preemptively clenched at all times, waiting uneasily for when he'd have to defend himself. Already he felt like he'd been eyeballed by everyone in here. Propositioned by a few. Guys like Walt didn't make it long in here, he figured.

He stared into the pudding cup on his lunch tray. How the fuck did he fuck his life up so bad?

Walt hadn't gotten much sleep last night between his frayed nerves and Ray Person, self-described prison bunkmate extraordinaire. Dude needed to learn how to stop talking about random bullshit in the middle of the night. That was the big reason for Walt going back to his cell after lunch: to curl up and nap away the long hours.

Walt shouldn't have been surprised to find Ray getting tattooed in their cell by a big, blond frat boy with some homemade torture device. It figured since all Walt wanted to do was be by himself in the last piece of territory he could claim as his own in here.

"Fucking ouch, homes."

"That's it, brah. I warned you. You owe me extra now or I'm gonna tell everyone you're a pussy," the tattooer said, smiling.

"Fuck you, Lilley. First, I'm not a pussy. Second, if I was, all of them only wish they were getting a piece of my fine-as-fuck body. I'm saving myself for marriage," Ray responded.

"This ain't Massachusetts," Lilley mumbled, and got back to work.

Walt wanted to be invisible and to sleep, but Ray was sitting on Walt's bed.

Euphoric from the tattooing, Ray finally noticed Walt standing there. With a huge smile, he said, "Roomie! What do you think?"

Walt tried to smile a little and nodded. Ray was getting a big piece across his upper chest; his skinny, pale, newly tattooed chest.

Ray beamed despite Walt's barely there answer.

Lilley turned to look Walt over. "Pretty boy don't talk?" he asked Ray.

"Yo, I talk enough for both of us," Ray said to Lilley. "Get back to work." Then Ray winked at Walt. "I love me some endorphins!"

Walt climbed up into Ray's bed and watched. He had to admit it was a little bit cool.

*

_ Day 4 _

Walt felt like some sort of zoo exhibit.

"Welcome to the worst days of your life," drawled a guy who looked like he was missing most of his teeth considering his lack of lips. Walt couldn't help cringing. "I'm Chaffin, and this here is Manimal."

Both of them -- and Manimal was big enough to be two guys -- had arms full of racist tattoos. Walt kept quiet and balled up his fists again.

"We always like to see a new addition to the Brotherhood," Chaffin continued. He had a big wad of chew in his lip. Fucking disgusting.

"What?" Walt was shocked into speaking.

Chaffin smirked at Manimal. "The _Brotherhood_ ," he said to Walt again.

"Because I'm blond and blue eyed you think I want to be a part of your... thing," Walt replied rhetorically, disgusted and unable to keep that feeling from showing on his face.

"And tasty lookin' too," Manimal grunted. He licked his lips and Walt felt the bile rise in his throat. Walt didn't fuck men, and he definitely wasn't going to fuck _these_ guys.

Chaffin drawled, "I bet you have a soft mouth. You like gettin' your hair pulled when you suckin' cock?"

That's when Ray came up alongside Walt, looped his arm over Walt's shoulders, and declared it was lunchtime. Walt was more than happy to walk away with Ray.

Later at the laundry, some dude named Poke went off on how the prison had disproportionately more brown men than white. Case in point, he hadn't stolen anything; he was just repo-ing cars and then these white cops busted him and a white judge sent him here. Walt also got eyeballed by a couple of black guys and this scrawny white guy in a do-rag.

Walt was glad to get back to his cell. Everywhere he went, Ray was there like he was laying in wait for someone who was willing to listen to whatever he was talking about this time. Walt was happy to oblige this time because Ray gave him the "grand tour of the tribes."

"It's pretty much like _Lord of the Flies_ except with shivs."

Walt wasn't so sure that was comforting, but Ray was smiling like it was no big deal.

*

_ Day 14 _

Walt was starting to get used to Ray's incessant chatter, but it was approximately dawn and they hadn't slept yet. Best Walt could figure, they'd shared pretty much their whole life stories. Ray was easy to talk to and it felt kind of good to just say some of that shit out loud.

"And there was this one chick, still wore her hair in fucking pigtails. I don't know about you, homes, but I want my women to look like they know their way around a cock, not like they're in fucking grade school. You got someone outside?"

"Yeah. I mean... no. She took off when I got arrested, so..."

"No pussy. I feel ya. You know that pussy is the root of all the problems in here. If dudes were getting fucked more, I guarantee you there'd be less time spent in the hole."

Ray didn't seem to realize his pun, but Walt's sleep deprived, starving-for-something-good brain thought it was hysterical. He wheezed with laughter, tears rolling from his eyes. "Don't you mean MORE time in the hole?" he gasped.

Ray leaned over and looked down into Walt's bunk. "Nice, dude. Sadly, no pussy here. You get your hand or you get a man."

That Walt was in prison came back into sharp focus. That stopped his laughter in a hurry. "I gotta get some sleep, Ray."

"Oh, yeah. Well... sorry."

Walt fell asleep wondering if he'd maybe just hurt Ray's feelings.

*

_ Day 40 _

"Shit, you are the kind of motherfucking white boy who goes around in Che Guevera shirts, aren't you?"

Poke was scowling at Ray. They were sitting across from each other in the library, entering the next phase of their neverending debate. Topics varied, but their mutual love of arguing for the sake of arguing never did. It was sport. Walt looked up from his statistics assignment to enjoy the show; Officer Fick had gotten him enrolled in some college classes already.

"Poke! Homes! You're dissing Che? Dude was a visionary of left-wing politics. Fighting for the underdog and all that shit," Ray responded. "You should love that kinda stuff considering where we are. You gotta respect your hermano, mi hermano."

Officer Fick was standing next to the table, listening and barely suppressing a smile.

"Motherfucker, you did _not_ just use Spanish at me," Poke said indignantly. "Listen close, bro, because I'm going to give you some advice." Poke leaned in and Ray humored him. "READ A GODDAMN BOOK. We're in a fucking library. Then tell me if labor camps and firing squads and martyrdom should put a person on your fucking Urban Outfitters ringer t-shirt. That's bullshit, dawg."

Ray leaned back and cracked his knuckles for flair. Officer Fick looked to be biting the inside of his cheek not to laugh. Walt snorted. He knew Ray well enough by this point to know he was gearing up to do one of his random ass, silver tongued performances. Things were about to get awesome.

"Alright, Senor Espera. You have thrown your gauntlet. Check this shit," Ray said before launching into a whole thing about Che Guevara being a flawed man that symbolized a worthy ideal. Poke had a series of perfect responses. The two of them fought over Walt's paper and started drawing diagrams. Walt thought he might pass out from lack of oxygen from laughing so hard. Even Officer Fick was chuckling.

This day was easily the best one since Walt got here.

*

_ Day 41 _

In the wee hours, before the horn rang for morning call, Walt woke up. He was still smiling from yesterday in the library. While he replayed the whole thing in his head, he laughed.

Ray peeked over the edge of his bunk. Quietly he said, "I wasn't sure you were ever going to smile, homes. Looks good on you."

Walt might have blushed a little bit in the dim light, but his smile didn't fade until way after breakfast. Walt figured he got pretty damn lucky to get Ray Person as his cellmate.

*

_ Day 79 _

Chaffin and Manimal were prowling around Walt at breakfast. He'd rebuffed them about a thousand times already, but they wouldn't leave him alone. This morning, Walt felt like he was about to get eaten, or worse.

"We'll take good care of you, boy," Manimal grunted, running a finger along Walt's shoulder. Chaffin laughed like this was the funniest thing in the world.

Walt's hand fisted around his fork.

"I've got everything I need," Walt said. "Get the fuck off of me."

"You letting little Ray-Ray get a piece?" Chaffin sneered. "That tweaker, race mixing fuck?"

"You called?" Ray said, sliding in next to Walt and closing his fist around Walt's spoon.

Walt felt emboldened with Ray next to him, thigh-to-thigh. "I said, I've got everything I need. Back the fuck off."

A couple of the C.O.'s had taken notice and were heading this way. Chaffin spit on the floor next to Walt's seat. "Watch yourself. This ain't over."

*

_ Day 84 _

Chaffin and Manimal couldn't leave well enough alone. They appeared at the door to Walt's and Ray's cell and Walt finally had enough of their shit. He reached under his mattress and pulled out that fork.

"Get the FUCK away from me, you racist shitheads. I am not going to ever be part of your backwoods Aryan bullshit and I'm definitely not going to fuck you."

Manimal growled like an actual animal -- it just made Walt more mad -- and started in through the door.

Ray jumped down from his bunk and got Walt's 3 o'clock, coiled but weaponless. Manimal's eyes looked like they might bug out of his head as he took another step. Walt flipped the fork in his hand, ready to stab. Manimal was huge, but Walt was seriously pissed at the constant threats. Seemed to Walt that made a pretty even match right about now.

"Get that prick," Chaffin screeched, twangy and nasal.

Manimal lunged, all dumb muscle. Using instinct, Walt brought the fork down into Manimal's bicep with an angry yell. Manimal fell, feral and grinning maliciously on top of Walt, knocking the wind out of him. Time slowed down to a crawl as he tried to get some air under Manimal's bulk. He felt weirdly distracted by the fact that he was getting a close-up view of the gaping holes where Manimal should have had teeth. His hand mindlessly sought for the handle of the fork.

Manimal shoved his thigh between Walt's and said, "You like it, boy? I bet you got a virgin ass. I'm gonna--"

Ray freaked the fuck out. He launched himself onto Manimal's back, putting him in a sleeper hold and yanking. Chaffin yelled obscenities and empty threats, and Walt came back to himself. Time sped to a blur in the face of Manimal's flying spittle. Manimal stood, meaning Ray's feet were about 10 inches off the ground as Manimal swatted at him like a demented King Kong. Walt sneered and pulled the fork out. Blood spurted.

He raised the fork to stab again, but then Officers Fick and Griego were in the cell. Everyone was yelling and Manimal was still trying to grab at Ray's head. Walt clocked Manimal in the face while he had the chance.

A whistle blast shrieked through the cell. Ray slid off Manimal's back right before the taser hit Manimal's chest. Ray stood between Walt and everything else and for that Walt was pretty thankful. Walt would either have gone after Manimal himself or he would have gotten the shit beaten out of him where he stood. Either way, it was good Ray was there holding back the tide. At waist level, they slapped hands in a low-five. Walt pulled Ray closer by the back of his pants.

Later, Walt suspected that Fick made some things happen behind the scenes, because both Manimal and Chaffin were transferred to another wing after that. Fick did take Walt's fork away, but his face read a mix of chastisement and apology when he did.

*

_ Day 94 _

Walt had decided he'd maybe like to open his own mechanic shop when he got out. Or, you know, in a couple of years after he'd saved up. He was good at fixing stuff. Right now that meant an _Intro to Accounting_ assignment; Officer Fick had said maybe it'd help him run a business. He'd rather be turning a wrench, but if this was part of turning his life around then so be it.

He was staring into the distance, chewing on his pencil and thinking about a day when he wouldn't be in prison, when he realized Ray was staring at him. Stray thoughts about fitting Ray into his fantasy future got intentionally pushed to the side.

"What?" Walt smiled and asked Ray.

Ray looked flustered. "Nothin'. You kinda looked happy."

*

_ Day 111 _

"Hey, Ray? Gimme one of your shirts. All mine are dirty."

"Dude, you work in the frickin' laundry. How is that even possible," Ray laughed as he handed one over.

Their hands brushed in the hand off and Walt suddenly and inexplicably wished that Ray had been wearing this exact shirt. That way it'd still be warm, and it'd be Ray's warmth.

"You ok?" Ray asked.

Walt shook off his shock, putting the weird feelings away for now. The problem was that this sort of thing was happening more and more often and Walt didn't know how the fuck to react to his own reactions. Is this just being 100+ plus days away from his girlfriend... ex-girlfriend? Somehow Walt didn't really think so, and he blushed at a confused Ray.

*

_ Day 153 _

Walt looked around the yard, always finding Ray whenever he got somewhere. At first it had been because he was always nervous in here and Ray was sort of his de facto anchor. These days it was because Walt had decided a while ago that they were friends, and Walt felt a ridiculous loyalty to that smart, opinionated, creative, warm-eyed little shit.

But starting today it was going to be because Walt had to look out for Ray. Over in the corner, Walt spotted Ray talking quietly with a couple of big dudes that had the reputation of being able to get stuff. Ray looked like he was doing some kind of verbal dance to get out of a sticky situation, and they looked like they were about half-a-second from kicking the shit out of him. Walt started walking quickly in that direction, and then jogging. His stomach felt like it was trying to barf out of his mouth. Things looked fucked up and getting worse in a hurry.

The first punch landed on Ray's jaw at the same time Walt's hand closed around Ray's wrist. Walt pulled hard and the guy's fist glanced off of Ray without connecting solidly. It still caught Ray's nose and the blood started flowing immediately. The other guy turned on Walt, pissed that their thing with Ray was interrupted. Walt threw a couple of punches, took one on the ear that made his eyes spew tears, but mostly he got Ray away from the worst of it. They scrambled it to the other side of the yard. Little guys can move fast as a defense mechanism.

Officer Fick gave Ray and Walt the once over and said, "Go on. I'll radio Doc that you're on your way. But, Person, I'm keeping my eye on you."

*

_ Day 154 _

Doc had given Ray a couple of aspirin, a stern look, and nothing else. Walt hadn't gotten much more, but at least Doc's look hadn't been as stern to him. Walt had taken him back to their cell and washed the last traces of blood off Ray's nose and cheek with a dampened corner of his shirt. Ray was pretty shaken up and barely said anything, but he had clung to Walt's wrist as Walt washed him up. Walt felt that touch for a long time after Ray climbed up into his bunk. The absence of jibber jabber had made falling asleep hard for Walt, and that meant waking up this morning was really, really hard.

"Mornin', Sunshine," Ray said, looking kind of wild and ridiculous with tissue still stuffed in one nostril. He was hovering close and Walt felt self-conscious that he might have morning breath.

"Hey. You ok?"

Ray shrugged noncommittally. "You know." He was paler than usual.

Walt propped himself up on an elbow. "Are you really ok?"

"Homes, you don't need to worry about old Ray-Ray. I'm golden," Ray said.

Walt looked at Ray like he could X-ray into his brain and see if that was true. It sure didn't sound true. Walt's eyebrows knitted together.

"Listen," Ray said. He took Walt's hand in his in a "we're bros" kind of way, but Walt was definitely fucking listening. "Thanks for helping me not get dead."

"Yeah, well, maybe it was about self-preservation," Walt said, getting distracted a little bit because Ray's thumb was now stroking his palm and Walt was feeling it places other than his palm. And then he was worried about his bad breath again. What the fuck.

A smile blossomed on Ray's face. "Because you need me? You really neeeeeeeeed me?"

"That street obviously goes both ways, dude." Walt's tone was dry, but the corners of his mouth twitched up.

*

_ Day 166 _

Fick loomed as much as Fick could loom in the cell doorway. He looked disappointed more than anything. "Get up. Into the hallway. Now."

Walt and Ray assumed the position outside their cell -- hands on the wall, feet wide -- and listened as their cell was turned over. Ray was twitchy and ashen. Walt didn't have to ask why. He'd suspected for a while, and now two and two were finally adding up. Ray was in for 3rd degree felony robbery, and it had only been like $1000 or something, but it was clear now why Ray had done it.

"You gotta get off the drugs, Ray. It's gonna kill you. And I need you," Walt whispered. That was all the louder he could get his voice before it started cracking with emotion. "I am going to help you." Ironic coming from the kid who was in for intent to distribute marijuana.

"I don't want any help," Ray snapped.

"You are a dumbass."

Ray got carted off to Doc, and Walt didn't see him for seven days. Those were some really long days. The nights were even longer without Ray there to chatter him to sleep.

*

_ Day 199 _

Ray didn't have the shakes anymore. He'd relapsed a few times, and Walt had to flush the drugs down the john while Ray fought him. Once he'd even turned Ray in to Officer Fick. The look on Ray's face had been like a punch in the gut. Walt didn't sleep at all that night and Ray spent the night in the hole.

But this time was looking pretty good. It helped that Walt had gotten reassigned to the library so he could keep a closer eye on Ray just to make sure.

Ray disappeared between two of the bookshelves and Walt followed him. For all Walt knew, Ray had stashed some stuff in there and he was going to have another fight with him.

"You don't need to follow me everywhere, dude," Ray grumbled. "I'm clean."

Walt sighed. "I'm not going to say that I'm sorry."

Ray leaned against the wall at the end of the aisle and Walt was probably standing a little too close.

"You don't have to say you're sorry. Even if it's hard to believe, I don't actually want to be an addict."

"Ray, that's not hard to believe," Walt said softly.

"Don't suckerpunch me in the kidney or anything, but I'm going to hug you," Ray said, and then he was.

Walt stood there kind of dumbly for a second, hands still at his sides like an idiot. But then Ray whispered "thanks" in Walt's ear. Fuck if that didn't send a shiver through Walt's body. His hands shot up Ray's back, hooking up over his shoulders and dragging him closer.

"Self-preservation," Walt whispered against the shell of Ray's ear. The tickle of a touch of his lips on Ray's skin sent another shiver through Walt's body.

"You need me--" Ray started, but they were interrupted by one of the C.O.'s and that was that.

*

_ Day 207 _

Sometime late -- Walt didn't know, maybe 1 or 2 in the morning -- he woke up. At first he didn't hear anything, but then he heard the shallow gasps from the top bunk.

Walt stared at the metal above his head and listened. There it was... the sound of a slick palm working. Ray was jerking off.

It's not like that was a crazy occurrence in a prison with no women. It's just Walt hadn't ever heard RAY, the guy who Walt was having some seriously not hetero thoughts about... He hadn't ever heard Ray getting off. Walt blushed because, prison or no prison, his parents raised him to know what things were private. That didn't mean his body didn't wake up a little more though.

Ray exhaled a gasp and then was quiet. Walt didn't sleep much that night. This Ray-induced insomnia was becoming a problem.

*

_ Day 220 _

This time when Walt woke up in the middle of the night to that sound, he didn't hesitate. He was blushing, but he didn't stop himself from reaching into his boxers. At first, he just put his hands on either side of his dick and pushed on his pelvis. He just need to get some pressure to keep himself from actually jerking off to the sound of his cellmate's shallow breaths. It's not like he was going to stand up and watch the show firsthand. But, he kept getting vivid mental pictures every time Ray's breath hitched...

Walt couldn't help himself. His cock was too hard to ignore. Ray's little mouthwatering noises were impossible to ignore. Not so deep down, Walt didn't want to ignore any of it. Jerking off in the same room as another guy didn't mean anything, right? No big deal.

Walt's hand closed around the base of his cock. He had to hold his breath and squeeze his eyes shut to keep from moaning. Above him, Ray was breathing shallowly. Walt could just making out the sound of wet slapping past the thumping of his own heartbeat. It was too fucking hot to deal with.

Walt brought his other hand to his mouth and spit quietly. He stroked himself slowly and tentatively, and choked back a groan. His boxers were muffling the noises of his hand moving on his cock, so Ray couldn't hear him and he could still hear the sound of Ray getting off.

Ray's breathing was getting more ragged and was punctuated with sharp inhales. Walt squeezed hard at the base of his cock, but sped up his fist over the head. He arched back into his pillow and listened hard.

"Fuck," Ray whispered. It sounded like he was straining around the word, and Walt imagined what Ray's face looked like as he neared his orgasm.

That was when Walt had to push his boxers down. He _had_ to get his dick out and he _had_ to jerk off to the sound of Ray coming.

Ray's last hard exhale was too fucking hot for Walt to deal with silently. He couldn't stifle his groan as the sound of Ray coming reverberated in his mind. He pumped his hand harder and let the fingers of his other hand press behind his balls.

Walt came hard with a strangled noise in the back of his throat when Ray leaned over the edge of his bunk and peered into Walt's with a smirk.

*

_ Day 221 _

They didn't talk about it, but lights out couldn't get there fast enough. This time, Ray sat on the edge of Walt's bed. They didn't make eye contact or touch each other, and they both came fast watching each other's hands.

It became sort of a thing. Walt itched to touch Ray, but didn't.

*

_ Day 227 _

"I knew you were gay for me, homes," Ray said quietly.

"Fuck you, Ray," Walt hissed. They were in line at the cafeteria, and Walt didn't want everyone knowing about this. He didn't even know what this was.

"You been fantasizing about my cock in your mouth. Admit it." Ray was smiling so his teeth showed. He bumped his shoulder into Walt's playfully.

"Shut up," Walt mumbled. The last thing he needed was a boner in line for breakfast thinking about giving Ray a blowjob. Not that he had any reference points.

"Or was my cock in your ass?"

"Ray, shut up." Walt moaned internally.

"WALT HASSER IS A TOTAL--"

Walt dropped his tray on the floor and dragged Ray by the shirt to the side of the room. Yells for Walt to beat the shit out of Ray accompanied the shove against the wall. Walt's face was red with a combination of embarrassment and anger.

"Are you trying to get me ass raped? Jesus!"

"You're a cockslut for me, admit it."

Walt dug his fists further into Ray's shirt and thunked Ray against the wall again. "Keep it to yourself, you fuck!"

Ray was beaming when Officer Fick pulled Walt off him.

"Back to breakfast, gentlemen. Now."

"That street goes both ways," Ray said softly and winked.

*

_ Day 228 _

Walt had been laying in his bunk for what felt like four days but had probably only been something like four hours. He couldn't sleep because Ray's words from breakfast kept playing over in his head. Was he a cockslut for Ray? Maybe. He sure as fuck thought about Ray and Ray's dick a whole lot. And what was that "street runs both ways" shit? Ray is on-board for what exactly?

Walt sighed hard and got up. He stood on the edge of his bed and looked at Ray.

"Ok," Walt said.

Ray wasn't asleep either. Walt could have sworn that Ray's eyes were laughing. "Ok what?"

"I'm not saying it."

"You got up in the middle of the night to tell me... nothing?"

"Fuck you, Ray."

"Is that an invitation?"

Walt stared at Ray, feeling like he should be annoyed at Ray's smugness but mostly feeling turned on. He boosted himself up onto Ray's bunk and straddled him. In the darkness he blushed when he felt Ray's erection pushing against his ass through their pants.

Walt wasn't sure what to say. He settled on, "I'm supposed to be straight, dude."

"What do you want me to say to that?"

"I thought you were straight."

"I'm equal opportunity," Ray said, flexing his hips.

Walt let out a ragged, gasping sigh at the feeling of Ray's cock pushing against his balls. "What are we doing? And don't give me some kind of joke as an answer."

"I don't know, dude. It's not like I'm going around dating all of the guys in here."

"So... we're dating?" Walt smirked a little.

"If you smile at me a little more we'll be doing more than that."

Walt had one hand on Ray's chest, over that tattoo. He ran the fingers of the other across Ray's cheek. It was slow and tender. Walt wanted to memorize the sharp contours of Ray's face; how his dimples softened him; how his eyebrows drew up in the middle.

Ray's hands came to rest on Walt's waist. "Listen, homes, you're gonna have to watch me jerk off again because your ass on my dick right now is--"

Walt didn't let him finish. He leaned over and shut him up with a kiss. It was way different than kissing any woman. Besides the obvious stubble, Ray wasn't tentative or soft. There was a power under the surface that Walt wanted...

Walt pulled back and stared at Ray, dazed.

"Fuck." Walt ran his fingers over his lips, trying to make sense of this whole thing.

It dawned on him that the rules in here were different. He really fucking wanted Ray, and in here maybe he could really have him. The tingling touch of Ray's mouth on his was still electric under his fingers.

"Oh fuck yes," Walt said, smiled, and launched himself at Ray.

Who knew that Walt Hasser would have to come to prison to start making good choices with his life?

*

_ Day 591 _

"Is it going to be the same?"

Ray's voice was uncharacteristically soft and vulnerable. It hurt to hear and Walt felt himself getting angry only because he had no idea how the fuck this was going to work. He'd met Ray, they'd taken care of each other as friends, fallen in love, and Walt had sucked his first dick. And really liked it. But none of this had a script.

"Ray! For fuck's sake! Do you want the truth or something beautiful?"

"Why can't it be both?" Ray asked, deflated.

"That's not the world we live in. I'm paroled and you've got another year. That's the truth," Walt said. He was angry at the fucking epically stupid karma that put Ray in his path and then said he could have him before ripping him away again. Unfortunately karma wasn't here and Walt was taking his anger out on Ray instead.

"No, Walt. Fuck you, dude. The truth is that I love you, and you love me. The other shit doesn't mean a goddamn thing."

"The outside is different."

"What. So you're going to go back to your girlfriend? She hasn't even called you once," Ray said bitterly.

"The outside is different," Walt repeated softly. "Prison rules aren't real life."

"Oh, ok. Gay to pass the time. Fuck you, Walt. That's my fucking emotions you're pissing on!"

The buzz of the guard opening the cell door jarred them into a painful silence. Officer Fick knew exactly what was going on in here, and waited for Walt to slowly get up. Fick looked at Walt meaningfully and then at Ray.

"See you around, Ray," was all Walt could manage.

*

_ Day 811 _

Walt had written exactly 72 letters to Ray and signed every single one of them with "I love you." He had them under his arm right now, because he hadn't really known how to send them. I mean, he fucking knew how to use the Post Office, but he didn't know how to deal with the fact that he fell in love with his prison cell mate when he didn't even know he was gay. Maybe he wasn't gay except for Ray. It didn't matter, really, because Walt knew he really did love him.

Fick had called Walt to say that Ray was getting early parole for exceedingly good behavior and that Walt better get his ass down there to pick him up; to not be a complete jerk about it.

Then there Ray was. One awful, lonely year later, there he was, looking healthy and way better looking than Walt remembered. Walt stood up off his beaten up old Chevy truck (with the newly refurbished engine under the hood) and started toward him.

"Are you going to punch me?" Walt asked. That was sort of an apology.

"I'm considering it." Ray saw the bundle of unmailed letters and then looked back up to Walt's eyes. "You are a dumbass."

Walt nodded. "Now are you going to punch me? I probably deserve it."

"Nah, I'm reformed." Ray reached out and pushed Walt's hair off his forehead with a finger. "You reformed or are you still gay for me?"

"I'm here, aren't I?"

"Looking golden and fuckable, as always."

Walt smiled. Ray ran a thumb across Walt's lower lip and Walt touched his tongue to Ray's skin.

"I missed you a lot, Ray."

"How much? Enough to risk arrest for fucking in the prison parking lot?"

Walt laughed and shoved Ray into the truck's passenger seat. "I've got a bed wider than a prison bunk a 10 minute drive from here."

Ray leaned over and kissed Walt and it felt pretty much perfect. Ray started unzipping Walt's jeans. "Ten minutes is all the time in the world. Just don't get us dead or arrested on the way over."


End file.
